Well, you might be
wondering what's up, with a Wednesday Malik's Bitchings and all
that...well, I have just two characters to explain; E3! Some
of the E3 details are a little to controversial, in my eye, to
remain in news format. Thus, I today, and possible I'll do
this again on some more of the E3 days, bring you a smaller and more
timely Malik's Bitchings. So, in case you've forgotten your
role; I'm Malik and you're in my world now.
was a purpose all along...
the pre-E3 festivities, as reported by MSNBC.com,
president Satoru Iwata had an answer for the attendees fervent
responses. "I have an engineering background so I understand
that technology can be interesting. But we are in the entertainment
business," he said. "Itís time for games."
think this sums up most of my bitches about games as respectfully as
to the Nintendo showcase, Microsoft and Sony both had their
showcases, and it seems to me that the attitude was the exact
opposite of what it should have been. For a geek event of the
magnitude of E3, there is a certain way things should be handled,
and games/fun should be job number one.
from the details, seems to have focuses a bit too much on empty
awe-inspiring effects; Who wants to see Peter Moore of team XBox
show off a tattoo of the release date for Halo 2? I mean, is this
supposed to impress me or make me think, "Wow! That is a sad
and pathetic geek show will probably need some laser work to remove
that thing when November comes around and Halo 2 is delayed".
Is this supposed to make the lowly geek decide that if it's cool
enough to get a tattoo of the release date over, maybe I should checked
out the game...everyone who will get Halo 2 (which will be a vast
majority of the XBox owners) doesn't need some lame-ass attempt at
trying to look hip to influence our buying habits. Then to try to
wow us with Jenny McCarthy while unveiling a console version of
video conferencing...seriously, what will be next? Bringing out
Donald Trump? Oh, wait a minute; they did. Is there really that
little respect for geeks that they think the hype is more important
than what we all want to see (the games)?
along comes the Sony showcase of corporate doom. Sony, instead of
even trying to entertain their audience, gives a stockholder meeting
of sorts. No one gives a shit about facts and figures in regard to
sales. E3 is about the games and the fun. Why would we honestly give
a crap about an early morning meeting to go over graphs when just a
few hours away...
raises things up in all the right ways. They show off what E3
attendees are there for; games. While Microsoft tried to use the
celebrity factor, and Sony tried to use boredom, Nintendo shows
Zelda. Plus, Nintendo even tries a bit of humor, beyond the
"humor" of Donald Trump saying "MMORPG", by
pretty much saying the truth about their competition...it's true
that Microsoft is losing money on the XBox but is happy since
Windows is making their money flow. As for Sony, they could fail
with their console and still be doing fine with their revenue from
music, electronics, movies, etc. Nintendo not only knows how to be
on task, they know who they are (they are supposed to be a geek oriented
company...hence, they throw out the hip celebrities and tattoos and
they don't give the geeks a bunch of figures...they give geeks games
and geek related jokes). Strange how the XBox is seen as the system
for hardcore gamers, but Nintendo was the only company in the E3
kickoff showcases to actually give hardcore geek
and Sony have the entirely wrong attitude for how to go about
winning over geeks. While the game makers are drawing in the
players, the console makers are all doing their best to show that
they are completely out of touch with their audience. Microsoft
should stop trying to be "cool" when they need to be
geek...in other words, stay on task. Don't give us a bunch of
celebrities who have as much to do with gaming as...well...Donald
Trump. Give us some gaming legends. We geeks will know who they are
and begin our worshipping...Nintendo gave us Shigeru Miyamoto, who
if you weren't a geek (and hence wouldn't be reading this), you
wouldn't care about...but the geeks were out and going crazy over
the local gaming god of Nintendo.
Sony needs to stop being on task so strictly. Geeks are all about
the lazy relaxation, so who needs figures and charts? Some may argue
(and some have) that this is merely the Japanese work ethic trying
to sneak in to E3...but then again, why is Nintendo putting on such
a fun show? They are a Japanese company too. It's because Sony still
has not learned how to be more than an electronics company; While
consoles are electronics, they are also a whole lot more. People who
buy electronics are usually the types who would care about
statistics (all stereos can play music, so you'd want the stats of
which one sounds best for the price with the best shelf life and warrantee),
but when it comes to games, the rules change. Not all consoles can
play La Pucelle Tactics, or Metroid, or Halo...tell us why we want
your console with important details like what your system will do
for us geeks.
was the only company that seems to really have it's act together.
They had a nice showing of Link, Shigeru Miyamoto, and Samus Aran...the
celebrities that game geeks give a shit about. Plus they used info
about geeks, for geeks. Good job, for once, Nintendo.
all consoles could play the same exact libraries of games, I'd go
with Sony since they presented the sales figures on why their
console is most reliable in sales. If I cared more about Hollywood
and the yuppie elite, then I'd go with Microsoft since they have the
backing of those I usually despise the most. However, not all
consoles are equal, and no celebrities will influence my gaming
library (with the exception of a little voice acting), so I will
have to give my vote to the games. If I had to declare a winner of
E3's first round of challenges, Nintendo just beat the shit out of
Sony and Microsoft, hand-down.
Just Keeps Doing It...
of FFXII were released with the E3 festivities, and once again,
I am looking in Square's direction with a feeling of...what's the
best word...pride...nope...confusion...a little...I think...the word
is disgust. Yup. That's about right.
know I keep going off about Square, but there's a quite good reason
for it. FF games (well, actually all Square derived projects of
Square Enix) are just getting too freakin' realistic and serious.
The worlds of FF games keep getting more realistic, with a stronger
basis in the real world, with each passing FF title.
first started to go this way with FFVIII and the scenes that just
screamed out "Invasion of Normandy" as you and your squad
ran onto a beach from a troop transport ship while dodging fire and
running around barricades. That game just never got to any point
more relaxing and jovial than that moment (and that's pretty messed
up if a beach invasion is the most relaxing point in the game). Then
we got a short break from reality with FFIX...I love that game...so
silly and fun...sigh...
FFX came out with it's realistic war torn environment. That game
embodied all that I try to escape from when I play video games.
There was brutality (if I want that, I have the news to watch...or
games with a fun story), poverty (news again), strong racist
sentiments (ummm...news), and a whiney cast of losers (I have to put
up with whiney people all day...) who should have been squished by
Sin long ago. When I play a Final "Fantasy" game, I want
just that; Fantasy. I don't want any of this realistic shit. Worst
of all, FFX (not to mention some other Square offenders; FFTA and
FFX-2) had no real story to tie everything together. Or, I should
say, it did not have enough of a plot to tie together everything and
still make up for the whiney characters (anyone who thinks Tidus and
Yuna are cool...just die already) and overly serious themes.
me explain something; there is seriousness and there is overly
seriousness. FF recently has fallen in the second category. If a
game has almost no fun (emotionally fun) moments (besides some
bittersweet ones), and the plot focuses on (not counting the romance
between two pieces of shit who can't stop their pathetic pity
parties), extensively, serious themes, then it is "overly
serious". Especially if all the serious themes are ones that
can and are faced in reality...how is Lulu and Wakka (who are more
freakin' loser characters...Wakka more than Lulu...but Lulu is not
much more than a Goth poser...I hate posers) learning to cope with
the loss of Wakka's brother fun? How is Tidus reliving verbal abuse
by his father fun? How is watching those flashbacks and NOT seeing
Tidus's father physically abuse that sad sack of shit fun? How is
watching Tidus and Yuna do that whole damned "I want you, but I
can't have you" routine fun? None of that is fun. It's
depressing and disgusting. By the way, notice how I said
"watching" so much. It's because you can't even have much
fun in playing the game...most of the time you just watch it.
only semi-realistic RPG I have enjoyed ever was Shadow Hearts...and
that was due to how SH is based in a (for lack of a better term)
"shadow" world presented almost on a parallel to our real
world. The issues faced by Yuri (SH protagonist) and his crew were
usually as far removed from reality as possible...having a demon
possession issue is not something that makes me think of how crappy
my work day and the world around me are. However, racism, violence,
poverty, and overly serious dialogue do. Plus, Yuri had a certain
old Chinese dood to keep up some comic relief.
on top of how overly realistic (in terms of it's basis in reality)
FFXII is going to be, we have another issue that just pisses me off;
Ivalice. That's right. The world of FFTA (the game that pissed me
off so badly) is back in FFXII. Am I the only one who misses when
the worlds and characters of previous Square games DID NOT appear in
new titles (with the exception of Cloud in FFT...which was
pathetic...)? Square was always the master of creating a unique and
yet strangely familiar experience with each new game. That feeling
just disappears when a world is reused, a sequel is a reality (like
with FFX-2), and the tone of the game is just too serious for it's
is somehow being quite popular with the geeks despite the hollowness
of their products. So, my solution is two-fold.
off, the majority of geeks (those who support realistic, serious,
sequel-minded Square) need to pull their heads out of their asses.
Square would then feel a loss of profit, so they would probably (on
their own) go back to making entertaining titles. If not...then
Square can eat shit and die. I was once the most loyal of Square
fans (just one step away from being a fan-boy...like a fan-boy who
can actually think for himself), but I can't keep buying into this
crap just because it's a Square title. Square was once king, but now
they are nothing more than a British Monarch...they have a cool
title, but they don't do enough for their people to justify their position.
for those who follow Square so loyally (like little fanboy
lap-dogs), I just have this to ask. Why do you play Square's games?
Why do you play any games? I play for the fun sense of escaping
reality (hence I don't play Square much when it comes to their new
titles). This doesn't just mean the actual world and characters...it
means the themes and moods. If a game is serious, shows the
realities of racism, sexism, bigotry of any sort, violence,
genocide, mass murder, whatever, and the level of seriousness far
outweighs the levels of fun and escapism...well, there's just
something wrong. If you're going to devote 60 hours to a serious
game with no real plot (and considering a RPG needs a good plot...I
love RPGs, but even I can say that game play is second to story in
all good RPGs), you're misguided...devote the same time to something
far more rewarding like volunteer work. I know if I must face a
not-at-all-fun harsh reality, I would rather be doing something to
help my neighbors than just wasting my time and attention span on a
Square made piece of shit.
that's it for today. I have far too much E3 news to sort
through to devote too much time to writing. However, stay
tuned for more developments as they come out from the gee-fest known
as E3. As always, if you think I'm too rough on Square Enix...you
can suck it! However, if you want to defend your precious
Tidus in all his whiney ways, tell me.