Malik
(5/7/04)
It's another
Friday, which means I'm full of rage and angst about the work
week. So, like usual, I'm going to take that anger out on the
geek world. So, without further ado; I'm Malik, and
you're in my world now.
Video Games
Involve TV?!?!
Recently there was
an article on MSNBC about how television networks are feeling the
hurt of video games. Supposedly the people who should be watching
television are instead opting for the more enjoyable pastime of
playing games.
The reasoning
behind this data is that the target audience of both game makers and
television producers of about 18-35 year old (males) are dropping in
television ratings while the money made off of video games is going
through the roof.
This leads to two
thoughts for me. The first being that maybe people are switching to
video games from TV due to the fact that networks are making really
crappy shows. How many more reality shows and sit-coms with no real
aim or direction are we all supposed to watch? For me, the answer is
simple; no more! Secondly, this makes me think of something else;
this data is a bit short sighted since people in this goldmine of a
demographic were not polled, but rather they (the
"researchers" who came up with this data) put two pieces
of data together and called it conclusive that one led to the other.
The problem with this is that if I did this type of crap research
for my day job, I'd be canned in about 5 minutes. Secondly, who's to
say that good games led to fewer people watching TV...maybe really
crappy TV with the non-stop reality TV and lack of quality could
have actually led people to find alternative sources for
entertainment...maybe...or maybe these two pieces of data are
unrelated and thus this "study" should be thrown
out.
Of course this is
just my opinion...so let's see what "researchers" say
about this, with their infinite knowledge. Supposedly, the experts
think the answer to this ratings loss for TV is to introduce crap
like G4 to the already overstuffed spectrum of crappy television.
Supposedly if people will play games, then they will just as likely
watch other people playing games...but not just other
people...trendy looking pieces of shit who are as authentic as game
players as they are authentic as people. The only good point made on
this pathetic attempt at research is that watching people play games
is as exciting as watching people read a book. I mean if you're on
the couch watching G4 or Tech TV (soon to be one giant conglomerate
of shit), what's to stop you from pressing the power button on your
XBox, GCN, PS2, or whatever's your addiction, and getting some
actual game time in? Nothing.
Solution
The real solution
for the issue of TV losing ratings to not to try to pander to the
wannabe's with trendy pieces of shit who know as much about games as
the average viewer, and instead try to offer something with some
entertainment value.
Secondly, the
solution to this type of journalism is to simply stop making giant
assumptions without a basis for them. Two pieces of unrelated data
are often just that; unrelated. It's this type of crappy research
that leads to networks making knee-jerk reactions and thus making
bad TV...then we're back to square one.
Why Can TV
Not Contain Video Games?
If television
execs want to try to capture some of this demographic (the game
playing 18-35 year old male group), why not try something
counter-revolutionary. Networks always seem to try to throw in your
face mock-celebrities at their viewers to try to get more viewers
intrigued by whatever crap is slated to be the next big
"hit". This is why we see such trendy douche-bags on G4.
Like I said in the last part, the people on G4 tend to be as authentic
of gamers as they are authentic of character.
TV, for the last
couple of decades, has been about trying to use a combination of
buzzwords, shock, and trendy behavior to capture a demographic who
would otherwise not watch said program. Unfortunately, these TV
executives who think of said buzzwords and trendy thought usually
know nothing at all about the target demographic. I mean, how many
times have you watched a TV show aimed for someone in your age group
produced by someone twice your age and wondered why the hell would
anyone use these tactics to get you to watch? Or what about how
often times the target demographic for a show is not the same as the
demographic who would actually watch the show? I mean there are a
lot of shows on Cartoon Network (a good example) that are aimed at
children, but contain humor that is best identified for people in
their early twenties, but these shows are only seen by students and
the unemployed as their air at times when the working class is
confined to a pen...I mean cubical.
All of this leads
me to think that before G4 and Tech TV merge (due to G4...aka
Comcast...buying out Tech TV), maybe Comcast and G4 execs should sit
down and think about the failings of their shows. Right now G4 only
hits a handful of cable communities, so to speak, while Tech TV has
a much larger audience (hence the buyout...Comcast is going to use
this to gain a larger number of carriers for G4), but maybe G4 is
not ready for primetime (so to speak). G4 contains a large mixing of
shows that present no real information (such as Blister, the action
game show, and Filter, a polling show that lets users vote for their
favorite whatever in a series of stupid categories...what's you
favorite hero from a FF game? Do you actually care what others
think? My answers; I don't give a shit), or are presented by such
trendy/yuppie looking douche-bags that the information is all but
lost in the "coolness" of the show (like with Sweat, the
sports game show, or G4TV.com, a live forum type show).
Meanwhile, game
magazines actually are doing pretty well thanks to some more serious
journalism by EGM, etc. So, why do these magazines do so well
compared to game related shows? The shows are silly and trendy while
the good magazines try to stay more serious to this journalistic
pursuit.
Solution
Here's the
counter-revolutionary thing I mentioned earlier...try to actually
give the shows a serious face to them. For example, G4 has three
shows with a lot of potential. There's Pulse, the news show. How
about we ditch the all-so-cool-and-trendy hosts and show some people
who will get the information across more readily than just their own
sense of style and humor. The news is already there, so let's keep
it true to it's own nature (being news), and ditch the obstacles to
that goal (the hosts).
Then there's
Electronic Playground and Judgment Day. Two quite good shows (for G4
standards). I lump them since they have the same sort of purpose and
hosts.
In theory these
shows could be quite good...in theory communism works...in theory.
However, while they try to give you a sense of actual video game
information, the hosts are so biased and closed minded that all
reviews are scored with insanity. Not to mention how the hosts of Judgment
Day obviously never play a single game for more than a few hours.
Thus, we are told how some of the most repetitive of games remain
fresh and exciting for the whole experience. Worst of all, for RPG
geeks (like myself) these shows are biased (due to the hosts) to
give horrible reviews of RPGs. Why not throw in a couple of
additional reviewers and actually have the reviews done by people
who enjoy whatever genre is being reviewed. Then there's the
previews on EP...since previews are presented solely via interviews
with the publishers, the hosts lack the guts to actually point out obvious
flaws...why not, after the interview session, have a section of just
the host (no pressure from the publisher) saying the whole truth
(something like, "while the publishers says that this game will
offer a lot of variation, and this is true, most of the different
game play mechanics just don't fit in this genre")? This could
easily remedy this whole conundrum.
Also, why are
there no informative shows dealing with RPGs? Ever since FFVII came
out about a decade ago, RPGs have started to go mainstream. So, the
execs at G4 should reflect this by having a show about RPGs.
However, I don't mean one of their typical shows that lack
information...RPG geeks tend to not like it when their games are
watered down through trendiness and hype (I should know...I am one
of these geeks). However, RPGs are not even touched by G4 (well,
they are touched, but it's a bad touch that makes me think the RPGs
should call the authorities).
In other words, to
summarize this...G4 should treat their viewers (and potential
viewers) with some more respect and dignity before they try to make
G4 quadruple in size via the Tech TV buyout. Not only would they
keep more of the first time viewers they will soon get, but they
will actually be treated with a good deal more respect by the
general community (for those who haven't noticed, G4 was hyped by
the gaming community prior to it's launch and then treated like a
leper after it's launch...for good reason).
Everyone's
Favorite...Hypocrisy
As I was getting
ready to start writing a review of I-Ninja, I realized something.
When I-Ninja was first released, many of the reviews all claimed the
game had the same short-coming; it was too damned repetitive. For
the most part, I do have to agree that I-Ninja is quite repetitive,
however...
At the same time,
I could look back at reviews for all of the recent plat formers (and
the not so recent ones), and a strong trend can be seen. If a plat former
features a very recognizable character or setting, it almost
automatically gets a thumbs up. Take for example, Mario Sunshine
(and Mario 64, while we're at it), which features everyone's
favorite overused Italian stereotype; Mario.
So, in Mario
Sunshine, which got rave reviews (averaging somewhere around a B+ to
A grade...or about a 90%, or about a 4.5/5, or whatever
symbols/grading system you want to use) and was called by many
people to be revolutionary. So, what made Mario Sunshine so
revolutionary? Was it the overly used Mario? Was it the method of
having about a dozen stages that you must constantly replay (first
time you get to the goal...or shine...then you race against the
freaky paintbrush kid...then you collect the 5 red coins...then you
fight a boss for the shine...then you get 5 more red coins...it goes
on for about 8-10 shines or trips through each stage depending on if
you go for the 2 secret shines per stage)? Maybe the standard issue
graphics and camera? Was it the played out enemies (I know, there
were like a whole 3 new enemies...whatever)?
Don't get me
wrong; I liked the game. It was fun and it kept me entertained for a
good 8 hours. However, you cannot call something so damned
repetitive "revolutionary" if something like I-Ninja is
called repetitive (you thought I would just briefly mention I-Ninja
and then in an ADD inspired bitchfest change subjects to Mario?) for
doing the same thing, but a little more uniquely.
I mean in I-Ninja
you actually have more individual stages than with Mario Sunshine
with a far different look to each stage (all of Mario Sunshine's
stages are simply beach settings...with a few twists...but at heart
they are the same). Then with I-Ninja, you have the fun of several
different styles of game play; you have the standard platformer (ala
Mario) action sequences, the stealthy stages (avoid being seen by
guards), the 3D movement of Prince of Persia (running on walls,
etc), the riding on a giant rolling ball (a lot like Monkeyball or
Marble Madness), the shooting stages (you sit in a cannon and shoot
targets, invading armies, etc), and unique boss fights (in the first
you are in a giant robot and you basically have a Punch Out!
inspired boxing match). What did Mario have again...platformer style
levels with a nifty water gun. That was it for Mario.
So, while in
I-Ninja, you do have to repeat levels to get your rank (what color
belt you have) to increase, like the ninja equivalent of shine
sprites, you have more variety overall. Plus, you have more unique
stages to do this repeated game play in. Plus, the repeat
performances of a stage are all the same style as Mario did; collect
10 red coins, beat a certain time (just like a race with paintbrush
boy), just finish the stage, and fighting a boss...but then there
are the shooting stages, unique boss fights, marble rolling levels
(including bowling for enemies...they stand in a formation and if
you bowl them over, you get bonuses as they explode with the sound
of a bowling ball knocking down pins), and most of all, a better
sense of random humor.
So, to summarize
this, what's with the hate? Or maybe, what's with the Mario
love?
Solution
Well, the solution
is really quite simple. For one thing, people (as in the
professional journalistic people) need to realize Mario, Nintendo,
and Miyamoto can do wrong. Although I think wrong is the wrong word
choice...I guess they should realize that they can do (and often do
indeed) things less than perfectly. So, reviews should reflect this.
Mario Sunshine was a great game, and it was definitely
enjoyable...but it was not a nearly flawless game. Hell, I had more
cheap deaths from glitches in that game than in any other (anyone
else walk through the corner of a wall into oblivion? I know of at
least a half dozen people who did this for their first death in
Sunshine), so how could you say this game that is a little more
repetitive than I-Ninja is far superior when the primary
"flaw" with I-Ninja is the repetition?
So, the second
part of this solution is to realize that games must be judged on
their merits, not on their merchandise. In other words, if one game
with great commercial appeal gets a great score, and another game
(with the same basic problems and a few more bonus features) with
less marketability gets a far lower score...there is a definite
problem.
That's why I
personally like to play the less known games. It means when I review
them, assuming there is a more marketable alternative, then my
review is, more times than not, the most unbiased one. I mean
another example of this whole hypocrisy is how a good deal of dun
strategy or general RPGs get lower scores than the FF or general
SquareEnix counterparts. Disgaea was called a great game with
averages of about 8.5/10 in most publications while FFTA got about a
9.5 (with quite a few 10s) despite lacking a story and having a far
less inspired game...which was also far less enjoyable.
In a nut-shell,
this hypocrisy needs to cease. It doesn't serve to do anything
besides boost sales for the common games and make obscure ones
harder to find (if a good deal of gamers base their purchases on
publication reviews, then they won't buy some of the more obscure
games that get rated lower on this bias). Thus, the games sell less,
and in turn, the smaller companies feel less determined to sell the
games in the US. Which leads to me going through withdrawals from
good games...especially RPGs. That just pisses me off. Conclusion It's
that time once again...I'm out of bitching energy for the
week...joking...I am really just out of time. If I ever want
to finish my trip through Disgaea, I need to get this column over
with. Anyways, next week, assuming what usually happens as E3
once again happens, I should have a special all E3 edition of
Malik's Bitchings. I imagine, at the very least, the Doom3
booth should give me enough, but I assume Nintendo will also add
fuel to my fire with their DS (or now as it's called, the
"Nitro")...until then, if you think I have my head up my
ass, have some good points, or want to tell me that FFTA and
SquareEnix pwn, tell me. Malik
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