Velveeta (4/25/04)

Hi Everyone,

I am Velveeta, the wife of Malik and his arch rival at the same time... at least when it comes to video games.  

I am a long time gamer and geek and you could say that Malik and I are fortunate to have met each other considering the dorkiness of our favorite hobbies.  Some of my other hobbies include DDR or more affectionately called in my house "Dance Dance", Heroes of Might and Magic III, SSX 3..... oh wait, pretty much all of my hobbies involve videogames wonder I find myself posting to you tonight.  No really, I do like other things like Anime, extreme foreign movies like "Audition" or "Battle Royale" as well as anything with Beat Takashi.  Besides videogames I have other geek pastimes as well, I used to play D&D but got really sad when my sorceress dragon disciple died, I also used to play the star wars role playing game as well.

Anyhoo  back to video games, I really enjoy RPG's, action plat formers like I Ninja and I just adore rhythm games like DDR and PaRappa the Rapper.  Within this past year though, I have really enjoyed playing shooters like Halo (of course), Time Splitters 2 and of all things Conflict: Desert Storm which is the most fun I ever had with the worst controls but enough about that.

I have to admit when I review games I am definitely biased against a boring story or a story that has the stupidest ending of all time (cough, FF X, cough) and against games that are all eye candy and no fun aka DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball or even DOA 3 for that matter and NO I do not have anything against scantily clad big chested women in video games.  In fact, as wrong as this sounds, I think the fake jiggling is rather funny.  

I also enjoy strategy games like Heroes of Might and Magic but I am not really into RTS games though, I like time to consider my next move and more time to taunt my opponents if need be.  In fact taunting my opponents, even when I am horribly losing is probably one of my favorite things to do.

Viva the Big Cheese,


Malik  (4/25/04)

I just thought I was being delusional when I said there were other geeks.  Seriously, the Asylum is starting to take some shape with the introduction of Velveeta.  Something she forgot to mention; she's added a review for all your pleasure.  Anyways, I archived the postings, so if you think I may have said something cool in the past, but can no longer find it, check that nifty Archive link found above.  Anyway, I'm working on a review or two and have officially become an I-Ninja addict...with how much people said that game sucked, I thought it actually wouldn't be worth the $20...maybe it's not worth $50 (but then again, after about 5 hours, I'm still addicted), but it sure is worth $20.  Well, it's the weekend, so I'm going to enjoy my last few hours before I must start another workweek.


Malik  (4/26/04)

Well, not too much to say for today.  I've been hooked on I-Ninja and it's been fighting with Beyond Good and Evil for my affection...hopefully BG&E will keep up the good game play so that I can finish this skillfully presented game.  Speaking of which; check out the reviews section for a new review of BG&E for the XBox.

I'm looking into some much needed maintenance for Geek Asylum...only a week after I start up this thing and I'm already looking to improve things.  I realized this format is a little clunkier than I'd prefer...even with my really limited ability to do the whole HTML thing.  So, while these changes probably won't happen for a little bit, it's something we can all look forward to (except me...the poor webmaster who has to do all the dirty work).

I'm also preparing some new stuff for my weekly column, Malik's Bitchings.  As usual, it's full of a lot of opinions, but at the same time, there's plenty to make all of us (except for overly sensitive PC-nazis) laugh, think, and appreciate.  However, I like to save Malik's Bitchings for Friday, so for now, it's just a twinkle in a bitchy geek's eye.

I'm also thinking of getting up a review of SSX3 (PS2 version) and I-Ninja (GCN Version) prepared in the upcoming days.  As you can tell, I don't like to play favorites with my consoles.  They all treat me kindly, so I treat them kindly too...well, except for my PS2 and it's strong love of DREs...but then I only have to threaten my PS2 with a 12 story plunge and it usually snaps back to it's usually civil self...unless we're dealing with a PS2 CD-ROM...I think it's allergic to the color blue...anyways, I ramble...back to tweaking my mad HTML skills.


Malik  (4/27/04)

First, some slightly old news (as in a week old) that I found hella cool.  Star Wars is getting a new game in the next year called SW: Battlegrounds that uses the team fighting a battle type of game play found on Battlefield 1942.  That in itself is pretty cool.  Then there's the campaign system (your side can stage a campaign to conquer all the star systems, and if you chose to attack a system, the defending side must defend in a Battlefield style fight...if the defenders win, they get a nifty bonus for the next fight, such as a cameo computer controlled ally, such as Darth Vader, Luke, etc who will lend a little support in a future fight, or if the attackers win, they are one step closer to total conquest).  Also, for console lovers, like myself, SW: Battlegrounds will be available for XBox (XBox Live! that is).  I'll post more about this game as thing develop.  However, the news I heard about was that when the original movie trilogy is released on DVD in a few months, it is supposed to include an XBox demo for SW:B.  Me gusta!

Well, Seattle is going through some freakish weather sadly, I must withhold any real updating for today, since my power is far from stable...already had one power flicker that nearly crashed my computer (gave me a few Windows errors already after my computer had a small other words, I rebooted and got a nice safe mode and a loss of my video drivers).  So before I lose something important that I can't just reinstall, I will sign off...I hate this city sometimes...and after a day of unseasonably hellishly hot weather yesterday that nearly slayed me.  At least there's some nifty frames now on the site and some more convenient updates planned...not to mention an SSX3 review in the works (expect it either tomorrow or Thursday...depending on if I have power enough to type the first portion tonight).


Malik  (4/28/04)

First off, I am aware that something wrong with the site today.  You may notice that when you load the page an error message might come up.  I don't know what's up, but something with the code for the ad banner at the top of my site is not right.  Sadly, that banner is ran by my host (, so I can only hope it is taken care of soon.

Well, after about a half hour of work to restore some more files that got corrupted with the freak Seattle storm yesterday and those wonderful power flickers, I'm back to my usual productive state.  Luckily the damage wasn't too bad...but I still had to reinstall a few files and drivers, which always sucks.

I got that SSX3 review, that I promised you all yesterday, up and running.  Not to mention I have some news to share with you all.  On top of all that, I'll be starting up on an I-Ninja review pretty soon...but no guarantees on when that will be...too much to do and far too little time.

I'm in a bit of a mellow mood right now since I'm getting a bit tired of the games I've been playing.  It's not that BG&E is not fun (the game is hella addictive) and that I-Ninja is boring, but at heart I'm a hardcore RPG geek...all I want right now is a true RPG (not a Zelda style adventure game...although BG&E is pwned me...), but good RPGs have always been few and far between...sadly, recently they've been rarer than ever...which I blame on MMORPGs.  It's not that a MMORPG is not a RPG in the strictest sense; It's just that I prefer to have a purpose in my game playing.  Maybe it's because I'm not some loser who has to sit in their parents' basement in fear of natural light as his skin turns green and sickly while striving to reach level 50 with my Elf Reaver or whatever...not that there's anything wrong with that...I just want a freakin' story/plot.  I play an RPG for a purpose, usually the story telling.  I mean, what is the purpose of an MMORPG, deep down, at it's core?  Actually, the answer to that is's to make money (how better to make money than to design a world, but neglect plot, and after charging full price for the game you could then charge $10, give or take, a month...Easy money!).  Usually, to the player, the purpose is to blend the level up aspects of an RPG with a chat room...well, you know what?  That's freakin' teh gay.  Maybe if someone can come up with a purpose in an MMORPG (and I don't mean the big conquests of DAoC...from my friends who've played, I learned those rarely happen and it takes too much effort to gather an army and to even be high enough level to participate) I'll change my mind, but for now, I say MMORPGs are teh gay.

Sorry, I'm just going through RPG withdrawals...I need a support group or something...or pleasant surprise along the line of Tales of Symphonia or Star Ocean: Till the End of Time getting pushed up on the release calendar...sigh...I can dream...


Malik  (4/29/04)

Well, not too much to say today.  It's been one of those days where I just feel like collapsing on the couch with some BG&E.  Whenever I think the game has drawn me in as much as it could, I get pulled in even more.  The twists and turns in the plot are as good as they get in a video game.  Sadly, I think I'll be finishing up the game in just a few more hours...but I guess all good things must end.

On a different note; for those who don't know the sad truth, geek society is getting corrupted more and more each day by the yuppies.  This is best seen in the "news" at MSNBC, CNN, and other sources of real news that try to delve into the video game world like they belong there.  For example, in my boredom at work today, I checked out to kill some time and came across this "news" about how Japanese game tastes differ from American game!  Americans tend to buy different games than Japanese?!?!  Why didn't anyone tell me about this sooner?!?!  So, says how Japanese audiences prefer to play games with more on the plot side of things (so that's why Japan gives us the majority of I know) while Americans tend to play more non-linear action based games (and I thought GTA3 was a Japanese game...I mean it looks so Japanese...dumbasses).  For one thing, this is obvious.  I mean if this type of thing is actually written in this day and age and called "news" by a more yuppie type of news site, then it just shows how sadly corrupted our geek world is becoming.  But then that was pretty obvious by the number of people I see in a game store wearing a suit...which is sad on it's own...I don't need them to also try to enter the world of geek journalism.  At least this helps to enforce my desire to keep this site running...the geeks have to represent!

However, that story did show one important thing (quote from said article);
gJapanese players do not like being thrown into an arena in which they are given very little instruction,h said Hideo Kojima, creator of the popular "Metal Gear Solid" games. gYou can head in any direction, 360 degrees. They say, eWhat am I supposed
to do? Give me hints. Provide me service instead of just throwing me into this arena.f"
What does this prove, you ask?  That I would rather live in Japan and get all of those great story driven games that never get brought to our shores.  Like I bitched about yesterday; I am in withdrawal from a lack of good RPGs.  As long as MMORPGs are drawing such big crowds and making so much money, there is no need for Japanese RPGs in the US (who'd buy one while they have an MMORPG that either the play or lose money on?).  Anyways, I tire or this crap...and I tire of bitching about it.  I guess I just will have to wait another 2.5 months for Tales of Symphonia (GCN) to get my more Japanese of a taste fulfilled; I like a story in my RPGs...why the hell would I play an MMORPG without a story when I could either play a RPG with a plot or play a FPS online and chat with my friends at the same time...why try to fulfill those two flavors (online with friends and RPG) with one substandard title when I can pick up two good ones.  Come Fall (assuming SquareEnix and Bungie both don't jerk us around anymore on release dates), I'll play some Halo2 online with some nice Star Ocean 3 in between and feel far more fulfilled than playing some FFXI...that's for damned sure!  OK, I'm in denial...Halo2 will never comeout, but until then (then being when hell freezes over), there's always plenty of other fun online games.

On a final note for the night; I know I've mentioned how I plan to update some things on this site (aka, make things look better) in the upcoming days/weeks, but don't worry.  I won't pull a  I checked out today (the message boards for certain topics tend to be hilarious...especially any over hyped games/ the N-Gage board) and was shocked and confused to see the new layout.  I can understand when web sites change if their presentation is ugly or hard to see, but gamefaqs was so functional (true, it lacked flair...but it's a site that means to serve a long as the site doesn't hurt one's eyes, it's all good) in design and now just looks jumbled.  Sigh...when will people learn that if something is not crap-tacular, then don't mess with it.

Well, tomorrow I'll have a new issue of Malik's Bitchings up and running (expect it late...I have a late night at work tomorrow...I hate being a working stiff).


Malik  (4/30/04)

No better way to start off a weekend (or end a work week) then by imbibing some of ye old alchy-hol at work.  Anyways, as I've knocked back a few today, I'm in a pretty mellow mood...which means all of you who love my normal fun-loving bitchy behavior are a bit out of luck...with this post, at least.  As I promised, I have a new Malik's Bitchings ready for you all...I work on these all week, so you can be secure in knowing that my tipsy minded mellowness is not going to affect the usually bitchy tone of the article.  Enjoy.

On a side note, looking at projected release dates of many of the most anticipated games of the year is making me rather sad.  While it looks like Star Ocean 3 and Tales of Symphonia are on track, I personally doubt we'll see Fable by the projected September 1st date that EB Games is giving and I doubt Halo2 or Half-Life 2 will see the light of day this year,  It just seems to get a little uglier each least GTA:SA shouldn't let us down...sigh...and I was looking forward to some good old FPS action this year (key word: good).

Well, I'm roasting in this freakish Seattle weather (one day it's a storm like no other, then the next it's hot, then is a freakin' blizzard...that's the life I chose to put up with in Seattle), so I'm going to go pass out on the couch with some BG&E.